Franchise Fix #0: Where We're At

Nowhere. And on some level, this is obvious... most Warriors fans don't have serious playoff dreams for this season, even with Monta's recent spurt. We're 6-11, we're tiny, we're injured, we're emo. It's no secret that this team is a mess. But it's worth pinching our noses and examining just how screwed-up, shapeless and confusing this team really is.

* Eleven different players have started for us thus far, tying us for first in the league with the Nets and (oddly) the Spurs. That eleven does not include C.J., who'll likely join the list before long... it also doesn't include Chris Hunter, who should start tomorrow if anyone is paying a lick of attention. We led the league in this category last year, and we're pretty strong favorites to repeat.

* We've already used eight different starting lineups. More to the point, we've only used one particular lineup more than three times. Our most common starting lineup is the current one, Curry/Ellis/Morrow/Radmanovic/Moore... we've started that quintet a total of five times. It features The Worst Starter In Basketball, a soft four that can't begin to cover for the weakness of said WSIB, an undersized three, and the league's smallest backcourt. Of these five players, the only one whose defensive ability is something other than "definitely bad" is Monta, and many would've fit him into that category as recently as two weeks ago.

* On November 11th, a healthy Vladimir Radmanovic played zero minutes for Charlotte; two days later, Stephen Curry played three minutes for us. Eleven days after that, both guys played all 48 minutes for us in Dallas.

* There is no consensus as to what our ideal starting lineup is, assuming full health. Monta and Biedrins are locks... after that, it gets murky. Strong arguments can be made for Azubuike, Curry, Maggette, Morrow and Randolph. Reasonable arguments can be made for CJ, Turiaf and Wright. Wacky-but-mildly-plausible arguments could be made for Hunter and Radmanovic. Other than cap commodities Raja, George and Speedy, the only player on the roster that can not be reasonably defended as a possible starter is Mikki. He's third on the team in starts.

* There is no consensus as to what position most of these guys should even play. Biedrins is clearly a center, Wright clearly a power forward, and Corey Maggette is, for all of Nellie's mismatchy fever-dreams, clearly a three. But Hunter, Mikki, Randolph and Turiaf all oscillate randomly between the 4 and the 5... 'Buike and Morrow are not clearly twos or threes... on the spectrum of guards, CJ, Curry and Monta all lie somewhere in between 1 and 2.

These are all bad, bad things, and injuries and trades are not the sole culprits here. This team is adrift. On a managerial level, on a coaching level, on a cap level, there is no emphasis, no direction, no take. The franchise doesn't seem to know who its best players are, or where its players should play. Players fall in and out of favor every day or two; guys go from scrub minutes to All-Star minutes and back without warning. This is not how you run a basketball team.

The Warriors need many things: a truly top-tier player (Monta's making his case, but the jury's still out), a good coach (Nellie has the ability but lacks the interest), some better health luck, some better uniforms, some better karma. But if you could crystallize our woes into one bullet point, what would it be? What change would heal our deep and many wounds?

The inevitably overwhelming response of Warriors fans: "We need a new owner." And, hey, that couldn't hurt -- Cohan really, really stinks. But why would we think we're assured of the promised land if Larry Ellison buys the team? Larry Ellison is more surely a scumbag than Chris Cohan is. Larry Ellison is an asshole of historic proportions. Larry Ellison is not a passionate and knowledgeable basketball fan like Mark Cuban. Larry Ellison is just a billionaire douche, as opposed to a centimillionaire douche. And it's not like Cohan hasn't spent a lot of money on payroll. Maybe Ellison would be a bit more willing to pay the luxury tax than Cohan, but that's no panacea... ask a Knick fan, if you don't believe me.

Teams can win with shitty owners. Teams can lose with beneficent owners. An ownership change could help us, but it is not, at its base, what we need. What we need is a plan. We need to pick a core of guys, a structural alignment, and a future season to shoot for. A philosophy, a coherence, an organizing principle. This is worth doing even if it makes us worse in the interim (which it probably won't).

So friends, over the coming weeks, we're gonna draw us up a plan for this team. The Warriors will never adopt it or even hear of it. But someone's got to figure out where this team should head... someone's got to Fix This Franchise. And who better than a couple of assholes on Blogspot?

To be continued.